Must My Aspiring Content Creator Pal Cease Exploiting Me for Material?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?